Help! Austen have portrayed my dad!

It might become personal, but I believe Jane Austen used my dad as her "muse" to create the character of Mr. Bennet. No, I have not become one of those Austen's fans that are so into her work, that start seeing the characters of her books everywhere. But I am just a worried victim of a real-life Mr. Bennet.

The first time I watched "Pride and Prejudice", the latest version, I felt in love with the way in which the music merged with the sounds of nature and the images, I loved the love story, the walks at dawn, and the love for reading, but mostly I loved how this apparently unimportant Mr. Bennet, had so many things in common with my father.

I saw my dad, who has married twice and is father of four girls, as that Mr. Bennet, who, as I thought at that moment, used sarcasm to connect to his daughters, who cared but did not know how to show it and a dad that, even when he wished he could, he could not help with the future of his children. As my dad is my closest example of men behavior, I thought it was great! He cared, but in his manhood he was too proud to show it, and he would give freedom to his daughters to build their own future.

My world fell apart when the class discussion and the characters analysis showed a Mr. Bennet as a negative addition. They showed him as an irresponsible father, an irresponsible husband, who does not take charge of his household but leaves the authority to his wife and the future of his daughters in their own hands. He avoids conflict by hiding in his library and hides his thoughts behind sarcasm and irony. I DID NOT KNOW WHO MY DAD WAS ANYMORE!

How could it be so bad? I think that we cannot be so quick to judge. And, well, after all, I am my father's daughter, so I feel the responsibility of advocating for all the Mr. Bennets out there.

Have you ever lived with six women at a time? NO? What about one? YES? Ok, imagine THAT, times six.

I don't know about Mr. Bennet, but my dad was raised as the only boy of three children. So I believe that throughout his life he has learned the best ways to live with women:

He has learned that once a woman has a fixed idea about something, there is little to nothing you could do to change that ( as Mrs. Bennet, about the ways to approach Mr. Bingley). Also that, unless you let her make the mistakes herself, she is not going to learn ( as Mary playing the piano at the ball). He had learned that even though you raise your five children in the same way and under the same rules, you will have five different outcomes ( as the Bennet girls). That he must not waste his time and energy in the middle of a conflict, but use his authority to state the final desition ( as what Mr. Bennet says to Lizzy after Collin's proposal) and that he also has to accept and learned of his own mistakes ( as with the missed judgement of Darcy and his daughter runaways)

After all, he wants the best for his children, but having 6 women in his life must have been a little overwhelming. I have lived with a dad that, as the stereotype of man, has trouble expressing  his feelings( uses sarcasm and irony) understands everyday a little bit more of the way with women ( after 60 years he is still learning) and does his best at avoiding conflict ( because he knows better).

So I make a SHOUTOUT TO ALL MR. BENNETS OUT THERE!,  because you have been brave enough to manage with women that you love, but brake your nerves at the same time, and do not quit when you realizing all the overlooked sides of the woman you married.

After the many negative analysis about Mr. Bennet that I heard and read, I found ONE that after six paragraphs of of trashing him, gives two lines of credit to the poor man, that I find important to highlight:

 "He  is not proud, he is not ambitious, he is not cruel to his children and lastly he doesn't pretend to have principles on account of which he should be proud"

So I make a call to be slow to judge his methods, and to put ourselves in his shoes first. Because you need patience, courage and wisdom to live with 6 women to which you are attached to for life, and not loose your mind while trying.

I can say that I did panic at a moment, but once I understood the man, my love and admiration for my father increased.

So what do you think? Is Mr. Bennet an irresponsible father or is a man that did his best?

Do you think you could have done it differently?

References:

How not to father: Mr. Bennet and Mary/ Gracia Fay Ellwood

Father figures in the novels of Jane Austen/ dr. Adly Odeh